:: 1:02 PM by Jason
Hey all
been a very quiet weekend, done alot of cleaning and a bit of packing
i was gonna go to the council today, but i will wait until next week, more time for me at home.
not much interesting happening since i last posted.
roll on tomorrow...

:: 1:13 PM by Jason
Good Afternoon, I hope you all had a wonderful christmas.

Mine was alright, better then i thought it would be considering whats been going on in my life of recent.
christmas eve i just stayed at home, and watched tv all day,
my next door neighbour - Doreen came over for a chat, which was good.

on christmas day it self, i got up early, about 8am, and had breakfast and watched a video.
in the afternoon, i had my music on full blast and drinking beer and baileys...lol

Vicki, Melanie, and Carl rang me up to see how i was and to wish me a merry christmas,
which im glad they did, as i needed that.
then around 4pm, i cooked myself a roast chicken dinner and watched Spiderman on video.
had loads and loads to drink...beer, whisky, baileys, wine, cider, etc...it was bloody good...lol

i thought about mum alot on the day, it was strange and very weird being on my own,
something i gotta get used to every holiday season now.

went to bed around 11pm, but i had trouble sleeping,
so i got up at 3.30am, and went downstairs to watch tv, i just could not go back to bed.

later on in the day , around 11am, i went up to the shopping center,
thinking it would be open with people buying loads of stuff in the sales...but how wrong was i ?

the whole place was bloody closed,
the only shop that was open was Virgin megastore, hell, even McDonalds was closed.

so that kinda pissed me off, as i had nothing to do...so i rang up my friend,
Mark to see if i could come over to his house for a drink.
so i got over to his place, and i stayed there until around 6pm.
drinking beer and chatting with both Mark and and his girlfriend Sharon.

it was a very good day in fact, ive invited them both over to my house next week to celebrate New Years Eve.

today im just checking my mail, and updating on my message boards.
this weekend, i will stay at home and do some cleaning
and monday i will have to go back to the council to sort stuff out.

:: 12:49 PM by Jason

Harry Potter: Which Hogwarts professor would you be?
brought to you by Quizilla


What are you REALLY thinking about?
brought to you by Quizilla



What swear word are you?
brought to you by Quizilla



Which Dysfunctional Care Bear Are You?
brought to you by Quizilla


What is your inner spirit?
brought to you by Quizilla


Where Did Your Soul Originate?
brought to you by Quizilla


Which Magical Order Are You In?
brought to you by Quizilla

:: 11:17 AM by Jason
Merry Christmas Everyone !!!

Yeh i know im early, but i wont be online until the weekend, so i thought i better say it before i forget.

I have been so very busy this weekend,
been cleaning the house, and filling in forms for the council.
i did go on friday afternoon to sort the house out,
and well....im going to be re-housed sometime in the early part of next year.
which i knew was gonna happen, but im not happy about it.

so ive lost my mum a few weeks ago,
and now im going to lose my home after 20 years of living there...pretty shit if you ask me.
but what can i do eh ?

its gonna be hard packing stuff up, as i cant take everything with me,
so i need to sell loads of stuff and throw away alot as well.

im also wondering what type of house i will get ?
not being a snob or anything,
but i have lived in a kinda posh house with lots of rooms and a nice area with good neighbours.
what type of place will i be sent to ? ...
hopefully its not one of the badder areas in Milton Keynes.
i have a choice on where i go to live,
so whatever house i get, i hope it will be nice.

well...this is gonna be my final christmas in my house,
so im gonna go out in style and celebrate xmas as much as i can try.

ok other things now...

got my prezzie from Melanie on saturday, Ali-G and Eddie Izzard videos, and a wicked grim reaper wallet.

also ive been watching alot of programs on BBC2 all about the 1980's
and it is bringing back loads of good memories, I loved the 80's...lol

Next Week is the cinema release of Star Trek :NEMESIS !!!
which i cant wait to watch, ive heard its very good.

As for today,
im gonna go and do some xmas food shopping and buy a couple of videos for myself to watch on Christmas day.
if i have time, i might go up to Fanboy and buy some comics.

well im gonna go now...so...

MERRY CHRISTMAS

:: 12:25 PM by Jason
Watched The Two Towers on Wednesday...Bloody Fantastic !!!
The best film i have seen in a very long time, much better than Fellowship of the Ring.

Ive kept myself busy this week with cleaning, and sorting stuff out in the house.
after christmas, im going to pack up mum's stuff...i really dont feel like doing it right now.

I have sorted my christmas day, got everything planned...
going to stay at home, cook a roast chicken, and have pleanty of booze to get drunk ;)
and watch mind numbing television...lol

Vicki wants me to visit her around Feb time, which i think i will do, never been to Derbyshire anyway
Gonna visit Melanie sometime next month as well at somepoint...depends on when she has time off work.

Still need to sort stuff out with the council, might do it today...
if i do get to stay in the house, it might be only for up to 6 months..hope not.

I dont know if i should put up any christmas decorations...
i mean its only gonna be me on my own, and i have nothing to celebrate this year.
so i might not bother,
but next year i will go for the full monty, xmas lights, tree, etc all over the house...lol
and i might even dress up as father christmas...lol

:: 2:17 PM by Jason
BLOODY FREEZING !!!
My gawd it was cold this morning, and very foggy.
I hate winter weather...lol

last night i was watching tv and i had on,
3 t-shirts, 2 jumpers, dressing gown, tracksuit pants,
2 pairs of socks, a blanket and the heater on fullblast and it was still cold.

But There is still no sign of snow as of yet...bloody stupid...lol

had a good drink with Carl the other night, it was a laugh anyway.

this weekend im gonna stay at home and do some more cleaning..joy joy

still have not been to the council...will do on monday....hopefully

Next week (18th) is the cinema release of the TWO TOWERS !!!
WooHoo baby....i am so going to see that movie.

:: 3:11 PM by Jason
been at home for the past two days, doing alot of cleaning.
threw away 4 bags of rubbish just from the kitchen...my gawd its a mess and i still have not finished yet.

im taking a me day today, so im up here in a internet cafe, just checking my sites and mail.
had a very sweet chat with Crystal (RavenWolfe) shes a cool luv, i would love to meet her one day.

gonna go and meet Carl later for a quick drink and a chat about stuff, should cheer me up anyway.

tomorrow i am gonna sign on with some agencys and pick up the newspaper with all the jobs in them
also if i get a chance, go and sort the rent out.

if i cant stay in my house and get moved elsewhere,
i will be selling lots of furniture and stuff as i cant take everything with me.

but i do hope i can stay there for a while yet.

:: 2:54 PM by Jason
Another quick note...

Damn i need a Girlfriend...
it has been way too long since ive been in love with someone
and i miss having someone who loves me back.

*sighs* oh well...it will happen soon hopefully.

:: 2:50 PM by Jason
I hate Saturdays, i really do
every night close to 10pm, i start to think about Mum
thats the time she passed away, and every Sat...it always gets to me.

i will never forget that night or will never forget the look on her face as she was dying in my arms.
it will haunt me forever as i was helpless to do anything.

like i said i hate saturdays.

what im not looking forward to is christmas this year, Melanie has invited me up to spend xmas with her and Martin.
but im not too sure about that, dont get me wrong, i would love to go
but the problem i do have is money..the travel up there will cost alot of money that i can not afford.

Vicki has invited me up as well, but she is going to have her husbands family there as well i think, so i will be a third wheel
Carl has invited me over as well...but i dont know...

i might spend the time by myself, i have a roast chicken i can cook and i will get some booze to drink, so i will be alright.
plus i will get some videos to watch and i will be a very happy merry witch...lol

also if i do get a job very soon (fingers crossed) i wont have the time off to go travelling.
so...if i dont see Mel, i will go and visit her sometime in Jan.

hope she will be allright with that when i tell her...hope she wont be pissed.
shame really that she cant come over to spend xmas with me really, but she has to work the next day.

onto other things now...
a certain person kinda pissed me off the other day on the net, and to be honest with ya..i dont really care anymore
so if she is reading this, its over for now...

im thinking about getting a T-Shirt designed for Eternal Fool by Cafepress.com
which would rock...lol

Tomorrow, im going to sort the council out and sign on with some job agencys...so wish me luck.

:: 1:34 PM by Jason
Ive been doing a hell of alot of soul searching recently...and been thinking about my past, present and what future i do have.
its kinda scary now, that at one moment i felt safe and then it was ripped away from me, and im in a new harsher world.
pretty shit if you ask me, and if there is a grand design for us all, its fucked up.
we are born without nothing and we die without nothing...and all that is between is a life that any of us can truely say was worthwhile?

I picked up mums ashes yesterday, and as i was looking in the box and saying hi to mum, all that was going through my mind was is this it?
is this what we are going to end up as, as a pile of ash and dust, glorified cat litter?
if there was a god, he must be smoking some good weed and having a damn good laugh at us, the humans down below running around on a ball of mud thinking that they are bloody important....can anyone believe that there is a higher purpose to any of this?

me, i have my doubts now...ok i was born a catholic and believed in god when i was younger, but i also believed in the damn tooth fairy and santa claus...now if anybody takes offense about me not believing in the almighty, tough shit ...every one has their own faiths, belief system, etc, etc.

oh gawd..im ranting now, next i be saying the world is coming to an end...lol
which it is, for the many people who have lost their innocence, their faith in themselves, and their will to live.
my initial thought when my mum died in my arms was to take my own life, cause i did not know how to cope and how to go on.
but a little voice inside of me told me not to give up, and to continue to fight the good fight....in otherwords, dont be a stupid fool (HA !) and stop moaning and seeking attention.

:: 11:38 AM by Jason
Today im picking up mum's ashes,
which in a way is an ending of sorts and maybe a beginning of other things.
life is an eternal circle.
every day i wish that mum was still alive, to see her smiling face again.
but i wont until i pass over to the other side...or when i see mum in my dreams.

i have to change myself, i need to sort my life out and find my path.

i see a very long road ahead, and i hope im not alone on that road.

:: 1:59 PM by Jason
Good Afternoon.

Well...the last few days have been very crazy, with alot of talking, drinking and crying.
i got up on friday morning about 5.30am, and had a quick clean up of the house.
then i just waited for everyone to turn up for mum's funeral.

Melanie, Martin, and Liam turned up first...
i got to admit, i was a bit nervous about seeing Mel again, after what has gone on between us both in the past,
but everything was damn cool, and it was like we were friends again, which i needed that.
Carl turned up then. and we both went upstairs for a chat, while Mel and Martin were making the food.
then came Danny and May, they were my parents friends from the RAF,
and my gawd did they act like the fucking arseholes that they are.
total rude to both me and mel, and all they did was eat
and chatted about some silly things that did in their past, like i really give a shit...NOT !!!
Yvonne and Chris turned up then, now i know they are "family"...
but..they are more family to Melanie then with me, which in a way, i dont really care,
but they could have shown some interest and concern towards me...
but you know the old saying, you can always choose your enemies, just not your family.
Vicki and her mum Rose turned up then,
now i was so very glad to see Vicki, as she is my best friend, apart from Carl.
and her mum was very funny and cool.
also Doreen turned up, she is my next door neighbour,
and she is a super diamond, she gave me alot of support.

at 2.40 pm, the herse arrived with mums body, and we all got in our cars and drove behind it.
the service was short but good, the minister -
Father Hardy, was to me a bit emotionless,
all he had to do was read the three pieces of work that i had wrote out and say a prayer...
that was it, there was no other feeling involved.
which i kinda guess it was alright as he did not know mum,
but he could have asked me and mel questions about her and said something that was personal from the both of us.

after the service we all went back to the house for the wake, and there was food and drink for everybody
i was kinda keeping myself to myself, only really talking to Carl, Vicki, Rose and Doreen.
Melanie was excellent that day, she really was my rock throughout the day.

and then one by one they all started to leave
Danny and May went quickly, which i dont really give a shit.
Vicki and Rose went early as well, as Vicki had to get back to her husband - Paul
that kinda pissed me off a bit as she hardly talked to me alot...maybe it was just me being paranoid again...
Doreen had to go as well, as she had to get her medicine and cook dinner for the kids.
Yvonne and Chris went then, which i did not really care about, but oh well...i really doubt i be seeing them again.
Martin came up to me then to ask if i would like for both of them to stay the night, which i was glad he did,
cause i really wanted to spend a lot of time with Melanie and Martin.
Carl stayed until gone 11pm, which i was glad as he really is a good mate.

after Carl had gone, Melanie, Martin and myself really got into drinking and talking about everything,
from our past to all the troubles we have had between us both.
we have total cleared the air, and any ill feelings are now gone.

Melanie and I stayed up until 6am talking and drinking, and i was so very tired.

yesterday afternoon, was the time that thay left to go all the way back to Lincoln
and i am missing them.

im just gonna take it easy today,
as tomorrow i am going to the council and the agencys to sort loads of stuff out.
i will update some time tomorrow or tuesday.

take care
Jason
xxx

Welcome to the Ramblings of
WitchBoy.
Rushing headlong in where Angels fear to tread,
but probably getting away with it.

MESSAGE BOARDS

PARA-UNITED

PARASCAPE

SUPERNATURAL WORLD

SUPERBLOG

PARANORMAL RESEARCHERS

CHILDREN OF ARTEMIS 

JOURNALS

FREYA

GNOME GIRL

RAVENWOLFE


OCCULT

OCCULTOPEDIA

MYTHICA

SACRED-TEXTS

NEWS

FORTEAN TIMES

APOCALYPSE